The pain of screwing up is the price and tax we pay for getting to learn the lesson. And that learning is at the core of what drives progress.
As someone who moves fast and is often architecting and leading through high growth or transformative periods, I have screwed up plenty. I have my Masters Degree in Mistakes and am proud to share that education with you (for a fraction of the cost and pain - ha!).
In this video, I share one of my most epic leadership failures.
In the situation I describe in the video, I allowed things to go unaddressed during the launch of new channels, and that resulted in a situation that quickly eroded trust and created a crisis of confidence. Outside of losing life and losing love, few things are worse than losing trust. I learned big lessons the hard way. I came out better as a leader as a result of the way we navigated this tough time, and so did my company and our culture. I can speak positively about the outcomes now, but in the messy middle, it was painful.
Here’s a high level roadmap to move through a big mistake with grace, learning and growth while protecting your relationships and reputation.
As soon as you see smoke - call it out - even if it’s your doing. Don’t let small mistakes become huge ones if you can catch it in time. Apologize for any mistake made, and involve help if the issue is complex - trying to clean up a big (and growing) mess alone rarely ends well.
If someone else sees it first - DO NOT hide out, CYA, or waste time to get the story straight. Jump into the fire. Start talking and exploring what is going on under bright daylight. It may be uncomfortable, but you’ll get to the solution faster.
While working through it, focus on the solution, not fault. Conduct an “autopsy without blame” for yourself or others to get at root causes. What matters most is immediate solution, and next ensuring whatever allowed the mistake to happen is addressed in systems, expertise, process and other improvements going forward.
While the solution is being worked on, apologize for any role you played and for the impact on others (if not done already) and commit to driving the solution forward and learning from it to prevent a similar issue in the future. Do not ignore this step, yet don’t get stuck on this step: apologize sincerely and keep working on moving forward.
I’ve seen a spectrum of apologies (most of them genuine). One extreme is wallowing, not letting it go, and living in anxiety and embarrassment. The other extreme is glossing over it and ignoring the impact of the mistake (very close to this end is where empty apologies live). Neither extreme is appropriate in most cases, and an inauthentic apology is almost always obvious and even more damaging. What is often authentic, natural, and optimal is a situation-appropriate blend of deep, real apology while giving space for those impacted as needed and a willingness to move on to make things better. Remember, words matter, but actions speak louder than words.
Implement the solution quickly, and if you are a main driver of the mistake, pull your weight in the solution where possible.
Even if people are appeased by the immediate solution, avoid thinking “whew - glad they’re over that”. Rather follow up with any appropriate stakeholders with a simple review of what will be better and different going forward and thank anyone who helped with the solution. Then move on.
Be sure the improvements are actually put in place and adhere to those consistently to (re)build trust.
Note: There are extreme scenarios that are not mistakes, but rather repeated infractions and issues. That requires a different recovery path, and while some steps may be similar, the overall process is different and much more complex.
In summary:
Address the issue - call others in to help.
Time is not your friend - do not drag things out - especially in communicating with those most impacted by the mistake. Early and often is the rule.
Apologize sincerely for the mistake and impact.
Do your part to carry the solution through.
Ensure things improve going forward.
Get past it, and focus on forward. Onward!
Hi Kat. One of the challenges I've found in calling out/fixing mistakes in Yapster is not always having adequate data available to shine a bright light on issues that worry me (I have tried to fix this going forward by making management information a core part of scoping new platform features and business processes - but historically I was much less disciplined). What do you do when you sense something is wrong, but realise it may take you months to reach 'certainty' on root cause(s) and solution? Thanks!